This week has been successful so far and with just two days left, I think I feel good about it overall. R and I moved some of my stuff to his house over the weekend, but there's still quite a bit left at the apartment. My goal for the weekend is to get as much as I can done over there and hopefully by the end of next week, I can be finished with it.
My overall attitude has been a positive one. I am happy to see R everyday, even if it's just for an hour or two before he heads to work. Although, this will be changing very soon since he received a promotion of sorts at work and gets to have normal day hours instead of working at night. Because of this, however, I am struggling to figure out the transportation question for work. My job is now thirty minutes away and without a car, I will have no way to get there. I've applied for some office/secretary positions at R's work, which I feel would be the ultimate break that I've been looking for. It would be 40+ hours a week, pay really well, and I'd pretty much have my own car in about a month. So we'll see what happens, if anything. It's entirely possible (and likely) that I'll just end up working two retail jobs out here until I can get back on my feet.
There's a lot that's been floating around in my head lately. The drives to work are long enough for me to think about things. I've determined that I need to put my dreaming on hold for now since it isn't conducive to my place in life at the moment. I had thought very seriously about putting all my money into moving to Chicago. It's been my dream to live there since I visited for the first time a few years ago. But it's just not a practical option. So I've shifted my focus and I am now completely dedicated to becoming the most independent person I can be. I am already pretty much there as far as my confidence and my ability to take care of myself and be on my own. The tough part now is working towards being financially independent. I want to have a good enough job to buy my own car, pay for my own place, and live comfortably without worrying or having to rely on family and friends. I've never been able to do that and I feel like as an almost 23-year-old, now is about the time. After I have reached that goal, I will be able to focus more on what I like and what I want to do.
Until then, I am trying to remember what an exciting and transitional time this is for me. My mom always tries to remind me that I don't have children or major responsibilities like that, so this should be an exciting time of possibilities. She's right and I try to keep that in mind. I am still only 22. It's almost 9 PM and I can stay up however late I want, color in my brand new Fantastic Cities coloring book, journal, drink Arizona strawberry lemonade, and paint my nails dark purple, which are all the things I am going to do.
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