Snow Day and Reflections

I apologize for not having written in a while. The truth is, I've been trying to take things slow and figure out what to do with...well, everything really. Sean (and some days, myself as well) is going through some really tough stuff right now, and it's been so terrible to see him struggle the way he is.

I've been told by many that your twenties are the best years of your life, and now that I've been in them for about three years, I can easily say that, no. They're not. Granted, I love where we live and the freedom of being a young adult, but the mind has a way of making all the physical things become nonsense and I have many days when all I want in the world is some kind of certainty or stability. I hate that everything is up in the air all the time, and Sean and I, having such high expectations of ourselves, are so pressured to feel like what we're doing right now is meaningful and worthwhile.

On top of that, it is a struggle to believe in ourselves and to know that we are making the right decisions for us now and for someday. 

Right now, the things that keep us sane and happy are days like last Wednesday. We had a random snow day and since Sean didn't have to work, we decided to head out in the storm and walk to Barnes and Noble on the Plaza to look at some books. I don't know how, but this has become a thing we do. Even if we don't leave there with anything, it's nice to choose a pile of things to look at and watch the snow fall while we drink our hot drink from Starbucks. Plus, the Plaza Barnes and Noble is so old and lovely looking on the inside, I always want to stay when it's time to go. 

Anyway, here are some photos of our walk. Now that it's 65 degrees out, it's funny to think that these pictures were just last week! Still, we've been enjoying the weather lately, despite how erratic it has been, and we hope you have too, wherever you are. 

Wednesday Morning Date: Part I

At the beginning of every season, I make a list of things I want to do (for example, "Things to Do This Fall"). I have actually gotten more done this year than I thought, but one thing I have wanted to do every year, and I never got to, is go to the pumpkin patch, particularly this place in Weston, Missouri called the "Big Red Barn". This week is the last week it is open as Halloween is on Friday, so Sean and I decided to get up early and visit. 

 The Big Red Barn is a popular venue for 'rustic' country weddings and field trips (there were two kindergarten classes visiting while we were there). The farm itself is owned by a family whose home actually resides as part of the farm scenery. In the summertime and part of the fall, you can even go and pick their apples and blackberries, and with a small fee they provide hay rides as well as animals you can pet and interact with. The whole estate sits high and overlooks the rolling hills and the surrounding area. Sean and I both agreed during our visit today that if ever we were to own land and build a house in the Kansas City area, it would definitely be around Weston/Leavenworth.
Below is a picture of their blackberry vines and the view. The best thing about this view is obviously the amazing colors. There is a peacefulness about being up there and looking out. I imagined that we had a home that we built on that hill or another like it but taller. And I imagined that the house had a large, wrap-around porch that we could sit out in the cold, early mornings and drink our tea and coffee as we looked out at the valleys and hills below. Maybe one day we will.

The Big Red Barn sells many homemade 'country' items like flavored honey, candies, jams, salsas, and soap. It's always fun to look at those kinds of things. I found this soap they had and it was called Cinnamon Apple Crisp. It smelled delightful and I thought about the happiness of smelling like a pie.

 Sean was quite excited to see the chickens. We've decided that someday when we put our roots somewhere, we'd like to have chickens and a large garden and all that. Perhaps even raise Angora rabbits. But the idea of having chickens is something that delights him most. He pointed out their cuteness and their varying colors and sizes. Who would have thought that he cared at all about chickens?

 They had a great variety of pumpkins and some of them were just bizarre and amazing. My favorite one was the brown, bulbous, moldy-looking one. It reminds me of Elephant Man, isn't that terrible?

 So this was bizarre and enchanting: A tree with pacifiers strung on its branches. For some reason, the mind automatically wanders to, "But where are the babies?!" The only explanation I can think of is that the owners have children and grandchildren and as they've outgrown their pacifiers, they've hung them in this tree to signify...something along the lines of being proud...? That's the only story I've come up with to make it seem less weird. So, y' know...just think about that.

This is just part one to our morning date because honestly, Sean and I only stayed at the Big Red Barn for thirty minutes or so before heading to Leavenworth to look around and have lunch. So look out for that post tomorrow! 

Back-to-School, Fall, and Coffee Shops

Yesterday was the first day of classes and it went fairly well, aside from the disgusting heat and what felt like child on my back all day. (Never again will I bring my math and German textbooks on the same day.) I feel really good about my schedule and my classes this semester, and I don't think I could have asked for better after my year-long break from school. Despite this, I realize how big my workload will be for the next few months. My three anthropology courses are really heavy with reading and writing essays; I think I have maybe twelve to fifteen essays to write and eleven books (plus many scholarly articles) to read. Luckily, I do much better on essays than I do on tests, but I can imagine that after about the fourth essay, I will be sick of it.

Fortunately, right now I am pretty happy. I do wish that fall would come sooner. I miss everything about the season: the cool, crisp air; the layers of clothes and my favorite scarves and jackets; the smell of dead leaves burning in the distance and cinnamon candles and baked goods; the holidays; and hot tea in my favorite big mug. Fall is like the pregame to my favorite month December. It's the time that Sean and I remember our first meeting three years ago and the cold nights that we spent together, walking around our small college town, talking and exchanging the first of many kisses and falling in love. Fall is a magical time, and it's hard to remember and notice that when our lives are filled with the everyday stresses of school and work and maintaining a household and other responsibilities. My goal this fall is to stop when I can and breathe. I want to find joy and excitement in the little things fall offers and I want to spend more meaningful moments with Sean and the ones I love.

Although it is still very hot and will be for another few weeks, I have begun doing what I can to create meaningful experiences with Sean. A new coffee shop opened near our apartment and Sean loves coffee and anything bitter, so we decided to stop by today on our walk home. It is so exciting to have a one so close now as the nearest one is almost twenty-five blocks away. If you're in the Kansas City/UMKC area, you should definitely check it out! The shop is called, Crow's Coffee and it is located 51st and Brookside Blvd. We really liked it and the character it adds to the community! I love that the interior is so rustic and modest, and I can definitely see it becoming a neighborhood favorite for us and pretty much any UMKC student.

I am taking German and teaching Sean what I learn as I go along. It's really fun talking to him about the phonetics and structures of languages. He has a great interest in linguistics and etymology so having him to help and make funny jokes about it keeps me interested.
I really hope that I can become fluent in German and live in a German-speaking country at some point. I think Austria or Poland would be wonderful, but we would be happy with Germany as well. So, I am taking my German class very seriously.

Anyway, I hope everyone's week is going well. I know a lot of schools have already begun, so I hope everyone has a fun and productive semester, or season if you're not in school.

I took this on my walk home from my evening class yesterday. I love taking pictures during the Golden Hour. They always turn out beautiful.

This is the drink Sean chose to get from Crow's Coffee. It's called  a Gibraltar (or Cortado in the rest of the world) which, according to Wikipedia, it's an espresso cut with warm milk. Sean is always wanting to try new things at restaurants and cafes so that's what this was for him. He tells me it was a success.  

Crow's Coffee! I really love the brick wall, exposed ceiling, the counter-tops, the decorated lights, the concrete floors, and pretty much everything in this place! I can't wait to come in for some tea or hot chocolate this fall and winter! 

I got an iced coffee with caramel! It was super delicious and we were really surprised that our drinks together was only $6! Take that Starbucks!

I made this board of German words and phrases that Sean and I can use together. I like the idea of having something we can see in our apartment to help us remember, so hopefully it works! 

Week at Truman Lake

I spent the last week at my grandparents' house at Truman Lake in Warsaw, Missouri. Sean and I have been going through some tough times since a person in his immediate family passed away very suddenly. The week before last was a long and difficult week so getting down to the lake was very helpful. Unfortunately, Sean could not come along so it was just me and my grandparents.

The house was built by my great-grandparents Dean and Barbara in the 1980s. I would go there a lot as a child and spend days to weeks with them. It was my favorite place to be. When my grandma Barbara died when I was sixteen, there was a lot of talk about selling the house and having my grandpa move closer to their daughter, my grandma Debbie, but after a few years Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Carl decided it would be best to sell their home and move in with Grandpa Dean at the lake. Now all three of them live there together and they really love it. The house looks better than it ever has and part of that is because Sean and I are getting married there in October.
But I think my grandma takes a lot of pride in keeping up her mother's house.

The peace and quiet there was really perfect. I spent a lot of time reading and helping to get ready for my Grandpa Dean's brother's 90th birthday party.
I just wanted to share some photos of my week at my favorite place in the world.

Happy August!